A dream I have lived before was revealed to me in my sleep, my spirit Onishiwa spoke to me of this dream.  I felt the presence of this energy rise up from the root of my spine and out my head.  It was a strong energy filled with knowledge that is connected to all that is.

This dream began with me as a warrior on my white horse. We were riding through the forest, the trees and ground were smoldering from a fire that had passed through. We were filled with a great sadness. I was returning home from a battle to my people who were waiting for me. My heart was filled with anticipation as I knew they would greet me with rejoicing and a feast celebrating my return. We would sit around the sacred fire and I would tell them the stories of my journey. 

As I observed myself riding through the forest I noticed that I was wearing different articles of clothing from different generations of time that I had lived before. These articles were representative of many past lives as a warrior, paint on my body, armor, feathers, thick leather brackets, knee & shin guards, they were marked with different kinds of symbols. I became aware these items are carried with me from life to life as a reminder of all that I have lived.

As I continued to ride my horse thru the forest I saw a small object ahead, it was luminous surrounded by a golden white light and it appeared to be moving on the ground. I was drawn with great desire to see what it was, it felt so familiar. As I got closer I could see that it was a small child dressed in pure white clothing, it was a little girl about 5 years old. I called out to her and extended my hand to lift her up onto my horse. When she looked up at me I was surprised, my eyes big with wonder, I looked upon her face and saw that she was me. My heart was pounding in my chest, I felt her as if she was separated from me but still within me.

She looked so innocent and harmless. Her clothes were untouched by the smoldering burnt forest, she was pure beauty clothed in a luminous golden light. I held her in my arms and opened my armor like a door on the front of my chest. There was a bright light coming from within and I placed her in this sacred place. I knew that she was returning home where it was safe for us to be back together again. We rode in silence together knowing that we needed time to heal, we did not need to speak. We were back together and time would allow us to heal our wounds. I knew once our wounds were healed I must reveal and integrate her presence as a part of me. To share this beautiful part of me.

We continued on our journey home where my people were waiting. When I arrived I strode down from my horse, I was soothed by the sight of those that loved and fed me. As we sat at the fire that night I told them of my journey and my deep sadness. I told them that the smoldering trees in the forest represented the people that had been killed by my hand. I felt as if it all was in vain, whatever we were fighting against I could not stop what was coming. It brought me a great sadness even though our homes were safe for now.

This deep river of sadness has been carried with me for many lifetimes and I knew that it is time to find peace in my current life. I have been reminded that my spirit Onishiwa, my present self, my little girl, and my faithful white horse have always been within me. We stand together ever so strong and in our knowing. We have always watched over one another and I am profoundly thankful to have remembered the dream I am living.  We are forever bound together in this spirit.